Kutta, Sher Aur Bandar ki kahani

Ek din ek kutta jungle main raasta kho gaya. Tabhi usne dekha ek sher uskii
taraf aa raha hai. Kutte ki saans rookh gayi. "Aaj to kaam tamaam mera!"
usne socha. Phir usne saamane kuchh sookhi haddiyan padi dekhi. Woh aate hue
sher ki taraf peeth kar ke baith gaya aur ek sookhi hadii ko choosne laga
aur zor zor se bolne laga, "wah! Sher ko khaane ka mazaa hi kuch aur hai. Ek
aur mil jaaye to poori daawat ho jayegi!"

Aur usne zor se dakaar mara. Is bar sher soch mein pad gayaa. Usne socha "ye
kutta to sher ka shikar karta hai! Jaan bacha kara bhago!"

Aur sher wahan se jaan bachaa ke bhaaga.

Ped par baitha ek Bandar yeh sab tamasha dekh raha tha. Usne socha yeh mauka
achha hai sher ko saari kahani bata deta hoon - sher se dosti ho jayegi aur
usse zindagi bhar ke liye jaan ka khatra dur ho jayega.. Woh phataphat sher
ke pichhe bhaaga. Kutte ne Bandar ko jaate hue dekh liya aur samajh gayaki
koi locha hai. Udhar Bandar ne sher ko sab bata diya ki kaise kutte ne use
bewakoof banaya hai. Sher zor se dahada, "chal mere saath abhi uski leela
khatam karta hoon" aur Bandar ko apani peeth par baitha kar sher kutte ki
taraf
lapka.

Can u imagine the quick management by the DOG...

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Kutte ne sher ko aate dekha to ek baar phir uskii taraf peeth karke baith
gaya aur zor zor se bolne laga, "Is Bandar ko bhej ke 1 ghanta ho gaya,
saala ek sher phasaa kar nahi la sakta!"

Moral of the story: There are many such monkeys around us, try to identify
them.

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Life invariably gives you what you want, but it does not always throw it
into your hands.

We must accept finite failure, but we must never lose infinite hope.

Every time I find the key to success, someone has changed the damn lock

Life isn't like a bowl of cherries or peaches, it's more like a jar of
Jalapenos--what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.... ..'

Maths Made Simple...

Equation 1

Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Donkey = eat + sleep

Therefore,

Human = Donkey + work + enjoy

Therefore,

Human – enjoy = Donkey + work

In other words,
Human that don't know how to enjoy = Donkey that work

============ ========= ========= ========= =========

Equation 2

Men = eat + sleep + earn money
Donkeys = eat + sleep

Therefore,

Men = Donkeys + earn money

Therefore,

Men – earn money = Donkeys

In other words,
Men that don't earn money = Donkeys

============ ========= ========= ========= =========

Equation 3

Women = eat + sleep + spend
Donkeys = eat + sleep

Therefore,

Women = Donkeys + spend

Therefore,

Women – spend = Donkeys

In other words,
Women that don't spend = Donkeys

============ ========= ========= ========= =========

To Conclude:

From Equation 2 and Equation 3

Men that don't earn money = Women that don't spend.

So, Men earn money not to let women become Donkeys! (Postulate 1)
And, Women spend not to let men become Donkeys! (Postulate 2)

So, we have?

Men + Women = Donkeys + earn money + Donkeys + spend money

Therefore from postulates 1 and 2, we can conclude,

Man + Woman = 2 Donkeys that live happily together!
============ ========= ========= ========= =========

Maths Made Simple . . . .

Equation 1

Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Donkey = eat + sleep

Therefore,

Human = Donkey + work + enjoy

Therefore,

Human – enjoy = Donkey + work

In other words,
Human that don't know how to enjoy = Donkey that work
============ ========= ========= ========= =========

Equation 2

Men = eat + sleep + earn money
Donkeys = eat + sleep

Therefore,

Men = Donkeys + earn money

Therefore,

Men – earn money = Donkeys

In other words,
Men that don't earn money = Donkeys
============ ========= ========= ========= =========

Equation 3

Women = eat + sleep + spend
Donkeys = eat + sleep

Therefore,

Women = Donkeys + spend

Therefore,

Women – spend = Donkeys

In other words,
Women that don't spend = Donkeys
============ ========= ========= ========= =========

To Conclude:

From Equation 2 and Equation 3

Men that don't earn money = Women that don't spend.

So, Men earn money not to let women become Donkeys! (Postulate 1)
And, Women spend not to let men become Donkeys! (Postulate 2)

So, we have?

Men + Women = Donkeys + earn money + Donkeys + spend money

Therefore from postulates 1 and 2, we can conclude,

Man + Woman = 2 Donkeys that live happily together!
============ ========= ========= ========= =========

Wonderful Definitions

School

"A place where Parents pay and children play"

Life Insurance

"A contract that keeps you poor all your life
so that you can die Rich"

Nurse

"A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills"

Marriage

"It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.."

Divorce

"Future tense of Marriage"

Tears

"The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower"

Lecture

"An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through 'the minds of either'"

Conference

"The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present"

Compromise

"The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece"

Dictionary

"A place where success comes before work"

Conference Room

"A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on"

Criminal

"A person no different from the rest
...except that he/she got caught"

Boss

"Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early"

Politician

"One who shakes your hand before elections and
your Confidence after"

DOCTOR

"A person who holds your ills by pills, and kills you by bills"

Classic

"Books, which people praise, but do not read"

Smile

"A curve that can set a lot of things straight"

Office

"A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life"

Yawn

"The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth"

Etc...

"A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do"

Committee

"Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together"

Experience

"The name men give to their mistakes"

Atom Bomb

"An invention to end all inventions"

Philosopher

"A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise"